All's Well In The World

Another Knock on My Door

So now I have someone knocking at my door again.  I am on the third floor of a "secure" building which means you cannot get to my door unless you are buzzed in or have a key.  Because of my experience yesterday, I am suspicious.  I don't even go to the door.  I just yell out, "Who is it?"  Anyway, long story short, it's this nice, well-mannered young guy in a full uniform with one of those metal clip boards (I am now peeking through my peek hole) who is here for the gas something-I-don't-know-what.  He says he may be able to save me money on my bill but needs to see my bill.  There is no reason for concern.  I feel it is all legit.  And yet, I don't open my door.  I don't acknowledge him or his work.  We talk through the door for a moment and I find myself apologizing to him. I tell him there were some strange men in the building yesterday, but I feel like a jerk.  This guy deserves better but I don't open my door to him.  He goes away.  I feel a rage welling up inside of me, right along side deep sadness at the degree of separation by which we exist.  I don't want to live my life in fear.  I don't want to be separate.

It's so inhumane.  I can't stand it.  I get my gas bill and head out into the hallway to find this guy.  He is at someone else's door and I am still feeling like a jerk because I have to wait to see how it goes with someone else first.  Anyway, I explain the situation more fully and sincerely apologize to him telling him that I recognize it wasn't respectful to him or his work.  He really is a charming young man and goes on to tell me numerous stories -too numerous - of the suspiciousness with which he must deal in his work.  The cops know him and he knows of many reports of people pretending to be with the gas company who are not.  He said a woman pulled a knife on him because she thought he was with Comcast.  I guess a Comcast cable guy had killed someone around here.  I am out of the loop.  I need to get to my CAPS meetings (neighborhood policing).  The racial divide is brutal and  I feel the need to tell him the suspicious guys yesterday were white, while acknowledging by  my actions that I do not fear him because he is black.

He comes up to my place when he is finished with the neighbor below and sells me on this program to fix my gas rates for five years.  I sign up for it but it's bunk and I will cancel within 24 hours as I am allowed to do.  I wanted to honor him and his work but I'm not buying insurance, basically, for my gas rates.

I am thankful to the Universe for giving me enough time to work through this and make a connection with this guy and not have him go off -both of us feeling separated by a door with a peek hole.

I like this analogy because I am being more mindful of connecting with people out in the community, on the street, in the trains.  It's just like standing behind a door.  Most people don't even acknowledge someone is there.  Some peek through the peek hole.  That is where I am at.  Eye contact and a smile.  I am working on opening the door to who ever comes by.  I want to strike up a conversation but don't know what to say.  My friend Ace is a master of striking up conversation.  I'll ask him.  Please share your conversation starters.  My friend Candise and I had a list of questions to ask famous people.  In case we ever ran into Phil Lesh, we were ready with a well-prepared question, "Phil, who is your vibrato coach?"  For Bobby it was, "Who does your hair?"  Jerry Garcia is known for this great question which I now often use, "What project are you working on?"  Everybody is working on something.  While perfect for a party, this seems a little too involved for the train platform.  A good question for any musician or fan is, "What are you listening to these days?"  In the community at large, I can see being totally stumped by someone's response. There is a whole world of music out there that I am just unaware of.  SO, I am looking for a pocketful of simple conversation starters.  I'll start collecting them now and maybe it will turn into one of those multi-million seller books that sit at the checkout counters of bookstores along with "Everything I ever need to know I learn in Kindergarten."  You'll of course all be properly credited...

 

The 49th Ward

I live in the 49th Ward.  I'm not sure what that all includes but I know it includes me here in Rogers Park.  In preparation for voting tomorrow, I am studying up on the candidates and thought I would share these interesting statistics I found on crime.

                                    Homicide
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    6          10        -4                     -40.00%

                                     Criminal Sexual Assault
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    40        55        -15                   -27.27%

                                    Robbery
                                  2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    488      542      -54                   -9.96%

                                    Aggravated Assault & Battery
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    378      382      -4                     -1.05%

                                    Burglary
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    843      881      -38                   -4.31%

                                    Theft
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    3,240   3,177   +63                  +1.98%

                                    Vehicle Theft
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    501      521      -20                   -3.84%

                                    Arson
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    17        14        +3                    +21.43%

                                    Total Index Crimes
                                    2006    2005    Difference         % Change

                                    5,513   5,582   -69                   -1.24%

This was on the Alderman's site so I feel it is presented in as positive a light as possible. Crime is down! (less than 2%).  Funny. 

Now, how does this speak to the funky state of the nation?  When I saw total murders were only 6, I thought "well, that's not so much."  That is higher than the murder rate in the whole country of Holland in a year. So then I search for a population count.  According to David Fagus's blog, there are 21,710 voters in this ward.  That probably isn't the same number of people who are eligible for above listed crime but I think it gives a good range.  Now I have out my calculator.  21,710 divided by 6 = .0002% (My mom would be correcting me here on the proper equation but let's leave it that my chances of getting knocked off in my neighborhood -statistically - are small.  Very small). 

I want to know what is the difference between theft and burglary.  m-w.com sorts it out for me. Burglary is breaking and entering.  Theft is being dishonest and taking something that isn't yours.  My chances of having someone take something from me here is a whopping 15%.  Does that feel high?  It doesn't to me.  Especially considering I have so very few things of monetary value.  NOW, I must jump right into the freaky story of the day.

My doorbell rings right about noon today.  I have a buzzer to let someone in but no intercom to find out who it is.  The only way to find out is to let them in then shout down, "Hello!".  I am safe up on the third floor as I listen for the reply, "mail, you have a package."  or, "UPS."  Every once in a while it's some gruff voice asking for someone I don't know and I say I am not them then shut and lock my door.  Today, I hollered down, "Hello!" after buzzing the door open to let who-knows-who in and I get only a 'hello' back - no identification.  I was expecting a package today and immediately knew it was not my friendly postal lady.  "Hello" I said again.  'Hello'.  Hmmm.  I left my door open (I know, poor form) and started down the stairs.  Around the corner come two burly bald white guys.  They look up at me from half a flight down and say, "plumbers."  And I am thinking to myself, "are you kidding me!?!"  No uniforms, no tools.  Just two burly guys in heavy coats.  I ignite the Superwoman energy shield and simply look at them.  "We were called because you have a leak in your apartment...your radiator."  Anyone who lives in these hundred year old apartments knows that we always have a little leak in the radiators.  Scary.  Anyway, I told them -very firmly, while still retaining my friendly demeanor- where to find the landlord and to go there and speak with them, as I had no leak in my apartment.  It's interesting how energy works but I was definitely able to create a shield.  They turned away and I quickly made my way back into my apartment...and shut my door.  So there was one less crime, who knows of what sort, to be tallied in the 49th Ward.

I'm still undecided if I will vote for Jim Ginderske or Joe Moore for Alderman, although I am leaning away from Moore simply because he has mailed me too many pieces of promo material.  Not very fiscally responsible - and I don't hear anybody talking about getting a recycling program going in the  49th ward. I bring my recycling down to the Uptown recycling center in the 48th. I am not voting Daley for mayor.  I'm voting for Dorothy Brown, not because I think she will or want her to win, but it's my way of letting Daley know he isn't invincible and I don't approve of all the corruption -as much a part of our charming heritage as it is.

Will you be able to count yourself among the rare, the brave, the high minded 34% of those in this "democracy" who actually exercise their democratic right/responsibility and vote tomorrow?

Try it!  It's fun!  Do it for the sticker!  Do it for the kids!

April 13, 2006 entry

Spring cleaning as a metaphysical pratice

Scroll back to April 2006 to read this entry on Lent, spring and Passover.
Interesting to note this airy piece, compared to the wracked inquiry of this year.

Lent Tapas

On Thursday, I was on the phone with my gramma.  She asked me if I had gone to get ashes the previous day.  No, I said, but I did see a lot of people on the train with ashes on their forehead.  "Didn't that make you feel like you should have gone?" She queried.  So there, I thought, is a perfect example of that classic Catholic guilt.  I didn't get ashes on my forehead for Ash Wednesday but I am observing Lent.  To me, and I sincerely hope I am in no way being blasphemous to my sacred, traditional Catholic relatives, but to me this is Tapas.  In yogic philosophy, there are foundational practices that one observes.  The first one is Ahimsa, or non-violence.  Gandhi was all about this.  There are about a dozen others, one being tapas.  Sometimes interpreted as purification through fire, it is a way to restrain ourselves, to discipline the mind.  Giving something up for these 40 days seems to me to serve the same purpose. 

My friend Jill and I have had a good conversation about Lent for the last two years now.  Being a New Orleans native, she has an interesting perspective on Lent and the raucousness that leads up to it.  Last year was the first time in her life she missed Mardi Gras in New Orleans and it was especially hard as it was the first one after Katrina.  We went to Martyr's here in Chicago and saw a good, funky marching band.  She said somewhat jokingly, that she didn't have much of a Mardi Gras so she wasn't so sure she needed to give up much for lent.  She talked about how good it felt to choose to not have something for a while.  I agreed.  It is easy to mindlessly stuff our faces and our minds with junk.  It takes discipline to consciously choose what we take in and what we don't.  This is the purpose, yes?  We choose to give up something that we will think about every day.  Jill made a good point that it shouldn't necessarily be something that will benefit you.  Like, oh I need to quit smoking so I'll give that up for lent.  More like something you enjoy everyday and so will think about what you are doing and why every day.  It's really a beautiful practice. 

The main thing I am giving up is laying in bed that extra half hour or so every morning.  I have committed to my morning pages (which I had been slacking on a bit -oh I suppose I owe a whole entry on this Artist's Way program I am dancing with).  This is three written pages of stream of consciousness.  Then  my full 108 mantras, kapalabhati and anuloma viloma (both breathing exercises).  Every day for 40 days.  All these together take right about an hour.  AND, part of the deal is that it is done first thing.  No putting it off until later in the day.  This is the most insidious infraction committed with 40 day practices.  My man and I are often guilty of doing what ever practice we have committed to for 40 days at midnight just to get it in that day. 

Thus begins my Lenten cleansing of the spirit for the resurrection.  This is so deeply beautiful and metaphorically rich.  It saddens me so that it has been twisted and bent to suit those who wish to control the masses and those who live in fear.  I was googling lent and was shocked, absolutely shocked, to come across a blog of some guy saying what he thinks we should all give up for lent is tolerance.  I thought it was a typo.  But no, he went on -and on- about how we should be less tolerant of other religions, unwed mothers and homosexuals.  I wasn't actually there, but I feel some sort of certainty that Jesus Christ's message was completely about tolerance and forgiveness.  So I forgive this guy and I am sending him so much metta (loving kindness).  It is only fear in our hearts that causes that kind of hatred.  And then the comments!  Harsh and angry words were being flung back and forth and I'm thinking, is this really about how to deepen our relationship to spirit?

Anyway, all I can do is keep my own house clean -so to speak.  There's not one thing I can do about anybody else's thinking or practices and I don't need to.  I am ever more aware of how all I can do and all I need to do is elevate my own consciousness, clear my own heart.  See, according not only to all the world's religions but quantum physics as well we are all connected.  I got this one little beam of light and all I need to do is make sure it shines brightly so the whole world has more light.  'member that song?  "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..."  If everyone did that, well there you have it.  Now I am sounding like Whinne The Pooh but I think that sort of simple mindedness is what is needed in this very confusing and complex era. 

If it wasn't well after 10pm, I would consult my ma for her thoughts on Lent.  As you may know, she at one time in her life was a Catholic nun.  She's got the rule book memorized and more importantly, she has a deeply spiritual nature and an unusually kind heart.  This I think is more along the lines of what Jesus wished to impart to us.  I am deeply blessed to be able to consult with her on these matters.  I think she would talk about aligning ourselves with Christ energy.

The resurrection is a big deal.  And it's no surprise that it is right around the same time as Passover and spring.  We're all so very completely connected.  Isn't it obvious?  When two religions fight, it's like my right arm fighting with my left arm.  Wouldn't you just laugh at me if the next time you saw me, my arm was all mangled and when you asked why I said that the one had mangled the other because they couldn't get along?  This is actually a concern for me.  I am so dominantly left-handed that I can totally see my left hand becoming completely intolerant of my right hand's inadequacy and not really contributing its fair share and all kinds of things.  Maybe they don't get that they're connected right there in the middle by my heart and then one just lops off the other.  I'm laughing now because its so preposterous but this is actually the situation we are facing in the world right now.  Whew, so I just gotta go shine my light.  Good night.

A Busy Wednesday

Yesterday was a big day of teaching.  I typically teach four classes on Wednesdays.  Yesterday, I picked up a class in the evening to make it five.

My morning class is beginners at I.M.U.  It's a small class and the students are dedicated. I admire the effort they put into showing up each and every week and trying their best, whatever the state of willingness their muscles and mind happen to be in.

In the afternoon I teach a class at a drop in center. I have been wondering for some time now just exactly who this program serves.  I had been given some idea when I started but as I got to know the people who showed up there, I knew the definition was more broad.  My curiosity was quelled yesterday when I walked into the room where we hold class.  On the wall was a big sheet of paper with this written across the top:  What groups of people does the BYC provide services for?  Answers were scrawled across the page as if someone was writing down answers being shouted out.  They included: "Anybody."  "Queer folk and allies."  "Everyone that want to come."  "Homeless."  "People who have been locked up."  "People who had fucked up experiences in foster homes."  People who don't have the shit they need. (housing, medical services, etc.)"  And this last one, seeming to come from the facilitator, "Any youth ages 13-24 needing a place to belong."  Based who I meet here and who attend this weekly yoga class, I would say this is a good description.  Each week is a complete surprise.  Interestingly, in the year and a half I have been coming here, I have never once had no students.  They typically require about 10-15 minutes of cajoling and a promise of 20 points (these are given for program participation and can be redeemed for 'cool stuff') before we begin.  The reluctance at the beginning is in marked contrast to the gratitude at the end.  There are actually 'regulars' now who show up somewhat consistently.   Remarkable considering their circumstances. Yesterday the class consisted of a woman who was five months pregnant, another woman with an eight month old baby in tow, a guy who insists on being taught "advanced poses" and another guy who was willing to try whatever was going on.  It certainly sharpens my teaching skills.

After this class, it's a mad dash to Yogaview for my kiddie classes.  Just a few in each of a 4-6 class and a 7-9 class.  I do like to teach there but the commute is a bit much.

Instead of going home after this as I usually do, I went back to Bloom for the third time this week.  I like to sub classes there.  It's a great studio and any opportunity to teach is meaningful for me.  My main intention, of course, is to facilitate some kind of meaningful experience for the students.  It's amazing how each class is different, even when the sequence is the same.  I think this particular one came across well.

My man picked me up at 9pm after this last class and we went to visit Jodi who is in town from LA.  she used to teach here and is actually how I met my man.   A guy I met a couple summers ago -Todd, who was at this gathering last night - brought me to a party Jodi was having.  It was at this party where I met my man.  Many people from this party a year and a half ago were there last night.  Very nice.

Then, when we got home, Paul decided he wanted to show me a photo album.  It was the first time I had seen pictures of him as a young boy.  Of course he was super cute!  It was fun to see him with a big mop of hair in his early twenties and pictures of his parents young and hip.

Feeling tremendous gratitude...

The Peace Alliance Conference - Washington, D.C.

I can't remember the last time I felt as inspired, excited and hopeful as I did at the Peace Alliance Department of Peace conference in Washington, D.C. the weekend of February 3-5.  It has taken me this long to be able to sit down and write about it.  Two weeks ago, this would have been a 1,000 word entry.  Now, weeks later I have distilled the essence of my experience and can share with you the highlights.

More than 750 people from 47 states gathered at our nation's capital to promote peace.  Not just some airy fairy idea of peace but a cabinet level department that skillfully addresses issues both domestically and internationally before they erupt into violence.  The intention of the conference was both to inspire and inform.  We, The People, were taught the facts and given pointers on how to approach our representatives.  The arms dealers and pharmaceutical companies have full-time paid lobbyists in the halls of congress everyday pushing through their agenda.  We were there as citizens of this great nation to promote peace.  During our time there, more than 200 meetings were held with representatives both in the house and the senate.

Congressman Win of MD was there as a supporter of the bill.  He summed it up nicely.  "We don't want to withdraw from the world and live in some La La Land.  We want to engage the world and make the world a better place."

Through out the weekend, the participants burst into shouts of joy and exuberant applause.  The energy was so high.  This is a very powerful movement and it is well underway.  The Department of Peace exists.  The support is there.  The experts to  run it are there.  The details of how to implement it are there.  The funding is there (The Department of Peace needs to do its job 2% of what the Department of Defense needs to do its job).

The most obvious predictor of violence is despair.  Marianne Williamson, one of the keynote speakers, repeated through out the weekend, "Nothing is so dangerous as large groups of desperate people."  Clear statistics show that an area where its people don't have access to government or economic stability will erupt in violence 81% of the time within two years.  The Department of Peace is the federal institution that will address despair before it turns into violence, both domestically and internationally.

She made a beautiful analogy that resonated well with me.  She reminded us that 10 years ago, complimentary or integrative medicine was called alternative medicine and was largely disregarded by mainstream medicine.  Today, it is estimated that 74% of Americans have tried "alternative" medicine which is now referred to as complimentary or integrative medicine.  The Department of Peace is complementary medicine for our nation.  Sometimes surgery is needed.  That is what the Department of Defense is for.  Oftentimes, there are many preventative steps that can be taken before open heart surgery is needed.

The biggest obstacle we face are the layers of dense material thinking.  It is simply not sustainable.  So few people continue to live beyond their means and the means of this planet.  Most of those people who do live here in America.  We have been world leaders on so many fronts.  Now is the time to lead the world in peace.  Peace -not just the absence of war but a state of connection and tolerance.

Our citizenship is part of our consciousness.  I was quoted in the Feb. 2007 issue of Yoga Journal in a piece about the Department of Peace as saying, "...the Department of Peace is like yoga for our society."  We practice mindfulness to become more aware, more compassionate.  The Department of Peace brings this to a national level.

All you need do is pick up the phone and tell your representative to support HR 808.  That is the name of the bill to enact a Department of Peace.  This person is there to represent YOU.  It is your responsibility to tell them what you want, and what you don't want.  Get in the habit of calling, emailing or sending a post card on a weekly basis.  Stay in touch.  They want to hear from you.  They are waiting...

Just go to www.congress.org  and type in your zip code.  Easy!  Try it.  Then post your experience here so everyone else will know how easy it is.  Democracy is not a spectator sport.

All we are saying is give peace a chance.

Baby, it's Cold - Inside

Happy blizzard.  Sitting at home in my warm, dry apartment I feel truly blessed.  Outside my windows, the trees are swirling around like the blades of a blender and it is snowing sideways.  We are having a classic "Northeaster" and my windows face Northeast.  It's quite a dramatic scene and I am deeply humbled by and thankful for that thin pane of glass that protects me so well.  Stepping into my nice hot shower this morning, with this storm raging just on the other side of the glass, I felt extremely fortunate for all I have.  The instantly available hot running water is a luxury I never take for granted.  The gurgling radiators deliver heat 24 hours a day.  It's a miracle really.  The storm is trying to sneak its way in, though.  A sliver of a crack in an east facing window has resulted in this little snow drift -on the inside.  This window is often left open a bit to balance the intensity of the radiators (letting the grime of the city quickly pile up on my sill) but even shut, I see clearly now, its not sealed.  The tiny snow drift has doubled in size since I took this picture a couple hours ago.  We'll see how big it is by morning.

Shopping with my man

I have so much to write about the Peace Conference and our training this weekend, and I will, but what is on my mind this morning is the fun I had shopping with my man yesterday.

Who would have ever thought that shopping with my man could be such a pleasure?  Well, I guess I know because we've done it before but still I am struck by the level of enjoyment we both experience.  He is more of a shopper than the average guy, I less than the average girl.  That lands us both right in the same place.  Yesterday, we went to our favorite thrift store - Disgraceland.  Highly recommended.  I sat in a chair by the changing rooms holding our coats while he walked around in his boxers looking for the right jeans.  It is rare for me to leave Disgraceland without a purchase and as we were walking out the door I happened to spot the perfect sweater.   $12.  Perfect.

Then we went to Lululemon.  Recommended if you like to wear black synthetic to practice in and are happy to pay for a pair of pants what I would typically pay for three pairs.  Again, I sat in a big comfy chair with the coats flipping through a Men's Health while he modeled the variety of styles available in men's pants.  There was a bit of a whisper among the staff and then he was told that Chicago yoga teachers get a discount.  I forget that many teachers in Chicago today were students of his at one time.  He is very regulalry recognized when we are out in any kind of yoga oriented scene.  Cute.   So he found two pairs he loves AND they are hemming them for him so they are perfect. Perfect.

The Secret to Great Writing

Writing has always been a passion for me and I am delighted to have the chance to write articles for Yoga Chicago.  I just handed in an article today and wanted to give thanks and praise to my man and my sister - my personal pro-bono editors. The article is about SYTAR and the research focusing on children and adolescents.  It is due to come out in the March issue.

They both very graciously -and on a moments notice - read my articles and give me feedback. I make them promise not to be loving and supportive but to be sharp, critical and discerning.  They both are naturally, and both very good writers themselves.  So although the articles say written by Mira Binzen, they have gotten the thumbs up from these two first.  In addition to some savvy insights, they give me the very most important thing - assurance that the piece doesn't suck.  I don't know if I could ever send anything out into the world without someone I trust giving it  the nod.  I hope I never have to find out.   

They are both in for lots of fun when I start writing books!

P.S.  This is also the secret to great bike riding as it was my sister's assurance (and push down the block while I thought she was still holding on) that got me free wheelin' in the first place.