All's Well In The World

Out of the Bound Lotus and into the Nine Nights of the Goddess

It was last Saturday, the 23rd of September, the First day of Ramadan, the autumn exquinox, Rosh Hashanah and the first night of Navaratri, the Nine Nights of the Goddess.  It was actually Sunday morning.  I woke up and knew immediately that I had not practiced my Bound Lotus the day before.  My response was notable in it's lack of intensity.  It was just an awareness, an observation.  I imagine this is the witness consciousness that the ancient yogic texts encourage us to cultivate, the non-attached observer with which we would do well to observe all life.

I wasn't bumbed out, I didn't freak.  I was curious.  With only a few weeks left of my six month Bound Lotus commitment, I was unable to see how I would end it or what would mark the transition out of it.  Just one day stop?  That didn't seem right.  So when I woke up on this very significant day and realized that this practice just naturally drew to its own close, I was pleased. Pleased at the exquisite  pulse of the Universe that guides us masterfully when we surrender to it.  Now, many may question this reasoning.  Am I cheating?  Did I break any rules?  Do I need to start over from day one and commit to another six months?  No, I don't think so. 

I wasn't sure what I would do when I woke up that Sunday but I decided to go through all of Navaratri and then see how I feel. 10 days and 10 pujas later, I feel like my adventure to the land of the Bound Lotus has drawn to a close.  I have learned much and it has guided me well, even in the way in which it ended.   All is well.

So now you want to know about Navaratri.  (and perhaps why I have let so many days pass with out blogging).

Navaratri translates to Nine Nights.  It is the nine nights of the Goddess.  Each night, The Mother Goddess is offered mantras, insence, food and flowers.  She is bathed and clothed in finest silk.  These acts constitute a puja and it is a way for us to have a relationship with the divine.  Navaratri emulates the path of the spiritual aspirant.  The first three nights are a puja to Durga, the Mother Goddess in her fierce form.  She will destroy our negative tendancies as she does all the demons.  Each night includes a story full of gore and graphic detail of Durga "depriving the demons of their heads and limbs."  The next three nights are for Laxmi, the Goddess of Wealth.  She bestows upon us the resources we need for the spiritual path.  The final three nights are for the Goddess of Divine Knowledge, Saraswati.  Only when our negative tendancies are removed and we have gained the resources we need to understand, will the divine knowledge be bestowed upon us. 

This morning at 6am was the 10th puja, the victory, in which our tools for work are blessed.  I brought my tingchas and GFY playing cards, which I use in weekly classes and trainings, a pen (for all the writing I do) and a new statue of Saraswati I got for my alter.

So that is the formula.  164 days of Bound Lotus followed by 10 consecutive pujas to the Goddess.  Seems appropriate.  Now I turn my attention to a more intensive study of pranayama.   I now hereby commit to 40 days of 30 minutes (IN THE MORNING - this is the tough part) of pranayama and meditation.  This is good timing too because it is Yom Kippur.  I like the synchronicity.  And now you see how I keep up a practice, one specific commitment after the other. It is the only way to make any progress on this slippery slope.  I feel like I need to be accountable otherwise this heavy, heavy society will drag me right down.

Bound Lotus is Blossoming

After nearly 140 days of practice, the bound lotus is really beginning to unfold.  I attribute this to many factors.

Firstly, spending a week at the Sivananda Yoga Ranch was a tremendous lift to my spiritual practice/perspective/experience in general.  It is a proper traditional ashram- a place dedicated to spiritual evolution.  Everything done there from cooking to cleaning is done with an eye towards enlightenment.  Nothing is allowed that would bring the energy down.  Several temples are there and an Indian priest who daily gives puja to all the deities presiding within.  These temples then become storehouses of spiritual energy.  The vibrations stay high.  This place has been in existence - with people engaged in twice daily meditation - since the '70s.  Whenever there I feel I am bathing in a very deep, cool, pure well of spiritual energy.  We gather in the main temple twice a day for silent meditation, chanting and a talk including a reading from the vast works of Swami Sivananda.   Swami Sivananda was a dynamic spiritual leader and his teachings are greatly inspiring.  When ever I come back from the ashram, I feel much stronger, more clear and re-charged on many levels.

Another great help to me has been the Gayatri Mantra.  I had a copy of Yoga + Joyful Living magazine with me on the plane ride home.  There was an article about this most ancient of mantras and something inside me went, "ting!"  I am familiar with this mantra, we chanted it everyday during my two-week yoga therapy intensive.  But the "ting" was guiding me to use it now.  I happen to have Deva Premal's Essence CD (doesn't every yogi?) which has a lovely rendition of the Gayatri Mantra on it.  I listen to this and chant along during my bound lotus practice.  With it, I have had several experiences of timelessness.  Before, I was counting every single minute, waiting for it to end but since I have been chanting the Gayatri Mantra, the minutes flow by...and that has made all the difference.

With the constraints of time lifted from me to some extent I am free to move more deeply into the shape of this lotus.  I regularly fold into half lotus for three minutes then get up and fold into full lotus for another 5-8 minutes.  Before, I would just stay in half lotus the whole time if I couldn't get into the full posture right away.  Limitations - they are all in the mind, aren't they?

In full lotus chanting the Gayatri Mantra is just a whole 'nother experience.  I feel as if I have just begun. 

In the last few days, I have been feeling low energy and feel my immune system is all hands on deck trying to fight off something.  To support this, I have been doing the "strengthening the heart and the immune system" Kundalini yoga set found in the manual:  Transitions to a heart-centered world.  Highly recommended.  This has been the perfect warm up set for the bound lotus.   I have done this set many times in the past, it is just the thing.  This set is highly recommended and so is this whole manual...'cause we ARE transitioning to a heart-centered world, right?  Yes, we are already well on our way.

Tips for Bound Lotus from a seasoned practitioner

I say this with much delight and great jest.  What I have learned along this path of life is that the more I know, the more I know the less I know.

When one searches the words Bound Lotus, this blog actually comes up in the top ten so I thought I had better be a little more forthcoming with how it is all going.

Very well at this time.  Having just returned from a week at an ashram, I am feeling strong and centered and open.  I also checked in with my teacher who prescribed this practice for me and she was very reassuring.  She said, "October 13 would be your last day, unless you feel like continuing at that point. Six months of bound lotus really helps unravel karmic blocks/baggage that are loading you down... so it would be totally normal for a feeling of resistance to come up when you are getting so close. Please modify as you need to so that you keep the posture safe for your body. Don't force anything. It is more about making the commitment to what you can handle rather than pushing yourself to do something physical that may not be ecological--they often say about Bound Lotus that the miracles it brings to us are so not in proportion to how deeply one can do the pose."

Doesn't it give you chills?  Yes, me too.  I was telling her that I was so over it and does it even count when I only do it 8 minutes each side.  Now when I fold down into it, I say "unraveling Karma, any amount."   This is a phrase I often use in teaching.   When I am teaching people who feel really stiff and not so comfortable with their bodies,  I give an instruction and then say, "any amount."  Its not how far one goes, but that one has the intention to go. 

I chuckled when I read the bit about "unless you feel like continuing at that point."  The reckless teenager in me says, (a fond word a no longer use) NO!  The wise sage in me says, "Hmmm."  My competitive streak wants to go for the 1,000 days for bragging rights to say nothing of the massive karmic tangles that could be unraveled in a nearly 3 year long daily practice.

But here we are today and today is about day 126.

How do I do it?  Well I started out with a manual by the premier practitioner of bound lotus, Mahan Kirn Kaur Khalsa.  Recommended.  (See first bound lotus entry).  She tells her story then gives lots of advice.  I agree with her comment that the mind is the most difficult part of the practice to cope with.  Lately I have been resting my thoughts on the Gayatri Mantra (as sung by Deva Premal).  That's nice. 

She tells us to just go for it with props, "use as many props as necessary."   Everything from a stack of pillows to rest the head (or knees or bum), straps wrapped under the legs to reach for or loose socks on the feet to grab.  I don't like this as it torques my ankles even more than they already are in the lotus.  One thing I have found very useful is a rolled up wash cloth and rolled up socks underneath my lower ankle for support. 

When I can't grab my toes, I grab opposite elbows.  When I can't get into full lotus, I am in half lotus.  Sometimes I will do half lotus for 5 minutes and then go into full lotus for the rest of the time, always switching sides half way though the full time.  She encourages warming up, saying it is essential.  Basic stretching for the hips, shoulders, spine and legs is good. Gomukasana is the perfect warmer upper.

To end the practice, I apply mulha bandha three times while holding my breath - as is done at the end of all kundalini exercises, then I S L O W L Y release my legs and stretch into Pachimottanasana (seated forward fold) for 1-3 minutes as is recommended in this manual and then relax for 3-11 minutes. 

Yogi Bhajan is quoted in this manual saying, "When any posture is held over time, the Universe comes to support that person."    Ya, that is needed. 

He is also quoted as saying, "Never stay in the Bound Lotus for longer than 31 minutes in total per day."  No problem.

I jest but I know I am deeply blessed by this practiced.

My advice for anyone embarking on this journey:  follow your own inner guidance, be patient, be kind to yourself and be grateful for the teachings that guide us on.  "Keep up and you will be kept up!"  (This is a very famous saying of Yogi Bhajan's said now by everyone in the Kundalini community).

If you are practicing or curious, please feel free to share your comments here.  It is good to have support.

Happy 108 Bound Lotus!

Today, I practiced bound lotus for the 108th day consecutively. This is a notable mark. I am on a plateau in this phase so the practice itself wasn't notworthy but I am more than half way.

What this milestone has done is reinspire me, refocus me. I want to commit to getting it done in the morning, to do the full chant each time I start it, to push myself, or warm up more or whatever is needed to move back into the full lotus AND to see if I can make the full bound lotus (toes on both sides grabbed) more of an every day thing. My right knee still protests. I have never had knee problems but have this stereotype around them being the weakest joint in the body and prone to injury and diffficult to rehabilitate so I feel I have been very, perhaps overly, cautious. This is a subtle line to tread. Each practice engaged in brings about some greater awareness, skill and understanding. So the oppertunity here is to hone discernment in a very subtle and precise way. How much is too much? When and how can I move beyond?

I feel like I have addressed this before...so, again, this must be why I have been given six months. it takes awhile to evolve. ; -)

scrambling through the bound lotus bramble

Today is day 85 of my bound lotus practice.  To do something - anything - for 85 days in a row I guess merits some...something.  But I don't know what.  For a while there I was in full lotus for the full 31 minutes.  I was not able to sustain it.  My knees said no.  I can't recall the last time I was in full lotus.  I think maybe once in the last couple weeks.  So now it is half lotus and sometimes not even the full 11 minutes each side.  I need to contact my teacher for some re-direction, motivation, encouragement, something! 

I recognize that there is something here for me and yet I am experiencing indifference to it.  I have even been working on various excuses to finish it up early.  I recall something my teacher said reminding me that I do need to (and want to really) do it for the full 6 months.  Too far off to be counting down the days.  It's just several more months.

This is where the Lord of the Rings comes in.  There are so many facets to our journey.  Some days we are walking through wonderful open vistas.  Other days we are scrambling through the bramble.  Lord of the Rings so beautifully depicts our spiritual journey with all the wonderful teachers that come to us and all the harrowing endeavors along the way.

There is something compelling me deeper in so I ask for the courage to stick with it and carry on with this lesson/journey/experiement with truth. 

Mowed over by bound lotus

It's that crystally quiet time, the day is fresh and I am in bound lotus down at the lake.  I am feeling a bit agitated and fidgety today and spend my time thinking about Vince Vaughn rather than the vastness of Universal Truth that resides within my heart. 

In the distance, a few city park rider mowers buzz.  That distance dwindles and as the cloud of dirt and grass along with the hum of the motor draws near, I half consider the need to move out of the way.  Does the guy see me?   I peek up to see him turn behind me at the last moment sparing me the full brunt of all he is kicking up.  All the commotion of commercial mowing fades...for the moment.  By the time he sweeps around in my direction again, I am out of Bound Lotus and in my requisite forward fold.  This big machine pulls right up to me.  The driver cuts the engine and says, "Sorry to disturb your concentration..." Of course I thought he would be telling me to move so he could cut the grass.  But no, he merely had to comment on this contorted position and how much it must hurt!  He was truly impressed/awed/perplexed and we had a nice conversation.

Buliding awareness.  It is amazing what happens when human beings connect one to one.  How many people do you pass in the day?  How many do you greet or speak with?  I am always pleasantly surprised to find an interesting person emerge from an anonymous facade once I take the time to say, "hello."  Yes, I have had the experience of getting caught up in some psychotic dramas, but this is the exception rather than the rule.  Most people are just like me.  Friendly, kind and perhaps a bit short on the richness of community.

This is one of the reasons I am so excited about our Laughter Club.  Even passing out the bills that give the details makes people laugh.  I handed out about a dozen today, another dozen last week and the plan is to be out there every morning to spread the word.  Tuesday, June 27th 8am Loyola Park, in the grass at Lunt.

Bound Lotus:  day  68

Bound Lotus - day 50

I was very tempted to quit at day 40.  It was on day 38 that I became overwhelmed with this urge.  Because it was only day 38, I didn't.  Then over the next two days I settled into it again and day 40 cruised by unnoticed. 

It takes 40 days  to change a habit.  You will find this 40 day senario through out history.  40 days of going without something is a powerful way to determine if you are a slave to it.  My man is currently going 40 days without dairy.  Like most of you, dairy is a huge part of his life long diet.  He restarted three times, once when he popped some crackers he was sharing with his son into his mouth, once when he ate a salad with dressing containing yogurt.  Can't remember the other... Point is, it has brought a tremendous amount of awareness to him about just what goes in.  Highly recommended.  A friend tried this with a man.  Lasted about 5 days.  You very quickly find out who, or what, is in charge.  I like it to be me or more secifically my refined sense of The Plan. 

There are these certain time periods to affect change.  40 days to change a habit, 90 days to confirm the habit, 120 days and the new habit is who you are and at 1,000 days you have mastered the new habit.  Well that is almost three years and I say to you right now, NO WAY.  I have been prescribed six months which is about 180 days.   Just think, you can do or not do something (or someone) for 40-90 days and completely change your relationship to it, for good.  That is inspiring to me.  This is why I have embarked on so many of these 40 day practices.  This six month one is at a new level for sure.

I have done the full lotus version several days in a row but often need to go back to half lotus.  My default is half lotus, 11 minues each side.  Other than that, I have been doing the full 31 minutes from the start.  I see now why 40 days wasn't enough for me.  I am just getting started with it.  Many layers to uncover.  Much to sit with.  It is challenging me on so many levels.  Mostly just being.  My friend has an email address:  simplybeing.  Sounds easy enough, but these tricky spiritual practices really begin to draw the curtain back.

My very best experience with it in these first 50 days was just last weekend.  We went to a music festival and practiced outside.  In the shade of an old oak,  my man was there to give me an excellent adjustment on each side.  I was able to grab toes on both sides, staying in the complete full bound lotus for the whole time - for the first time ever.  I was truly comfortable.  It felt good.  No struggling, no squirming. The exceptional factors where having Paul there, not only to adjust me but to be there at my side practicing while I was bound.  The other was being outside.  The earth was very grounding (is that redundant?)  I'll give it a try outside here at the beach across the street.  It will be such a peculiar site...

Bound Lotus update - day 26

It's been a long time since I have regularly incorporated the word "hate" into my vocabulary.  It's so high school.  BUT I find it slipping out right before the words Bound Lotus.  Joseph Campell has said, "Mythology tells us that where you stumble, there your treasure is."  It's not really stumbling though.  It's more like being broken. 

This morning's practice was one of those rare moments when I felt some degree of peace and contentment in this position.  Most times I am protesting loudly along with my knees, hips and poor ankles.  The ankles are bearing the brunt of this, for sure, as they are the weakest link.  But who am I?  (Uh, oh...here we go) I am not these ankels, I am not this body, I am not this mind.  Perhaps this is why bound lotus is considered a more advanced practice.  We get right to this powerful question and have 31 minutes to try to become quiet and still enough to experience that which is beyond ego, body, emotions and intense thoughts.

There is so much here.  Surrender, being with what is, sending mericful awareness to the pain, stilling the mind to quiet the riotous thoughts -including all that crap around hate.   Hmmmm.  Big project.  This is why I have been given 6 months.  So many reasons to quit.  The obvious ones around the intense pain in the outside right ankle, with a slight numbness in my back right hip/leg.  Both of these are on going, even when I get out of the pose.

This presents an opportunity for Viveka, or discernment.  Is it too much?  I am I looking for an excuse to get out?  Am I pushing too hard? 

I am able to get my legs into full lotus once every three or four days, due to the pain in my ankle.  I did do it both yesterday and today so we will see what is in store for tomorrow.  My fingers can grab the toes of the foot on top.  There is still a couple inches between my other hand and foot.

I see why I am here.  My ego needs to be broken.  My strong willed stubborness and attitude that no body can tell me what to do has no place on this path.  The practice of Bound Lotus is incredibly humbling and also deeply quieting.  So as the ego is put in it's place and a habit of total stillness and surrender is cultivated, the whole world unfolds in its unadulterated splendor. 

Full bound lotus for me may be like a trip to India for you

Day...5 into 6

Every morning I have been going downtown to sit with A.G. Mohan and his son Ganesh. It is a true blessing to have these teachers here in Chicago. This level of teaching simply isn't available just anywhere.

For the last two days, my bound lotus practice has thus been pushed to evening. I like it. I take a shower and give myself a nice warm sesame oil massage, focusing on my low back and hips, the areas most strained by this position. The warm up exercises come easy at the end of the day and then I snuggle down into the bound lotus.

I got myself into full lotus on the third day but it was excruciating, like my shins would break. The gulf between half lotus and full lotus is vast. I have it in my mind to get to full bound lotus, I've seen it, it looks like something for me. I am not quite sure how to get there or what I need to do to prepare.

Maybe you feel this way about going to India. How to go about it? Well, don't worry about that. I will surely be taking a group to India in the next couple years...but it seems a worthwhile comparison. Most would want a guide as it is a very complex place and so vast.

I have a guide for full bound lotus...my heart. Like an overweight, gruff tour guide asleep on the easy chair, I have to gently keep nudging it and waiting patiently for it to come around, clean itself up and become the infinity wise guide to the terrain of inner and outer life that it truly is.

What will it be like? Will I get sick? How will I get around? Who will be there? Will it be a friendly place? If my heart is as vast, suprising, shockingly unique, sumptuous, unspeakably beautiful, historically rich, deep and delightful as India, then I willingly take on the often times arduous task of preparing for the journey. And in the process, the full bound lotus will unfold.

Bowing at the feet of a profound master - Bound Lotus

Bound Lotus - day 1

Sat nam and blessings to my teacher, Helena, who prescribed the practice of bound lotus - 31 minutes a day for six months. She suggested this on the 3rd of April but I began today, as the manual and CD arrived yesterday. The manual is full of testimonials that make it sound scary, even naming it torture pose. Actually, even this was inspiring. They said, "first we called it torture pose, then we started calling it transformation pose. Perfect. Perfect day to begin with all the powers lined up to support me.

So far, so good. I warmed up with sun salutations and various stretches suggested in the manual. Then I got into half lotus and folded forward. I had a big bolster there to rest my head on but felt comfortable on just a small pillow. There were brief moments when my left fingers would make contact with my left toes...this will be an ongoing project. Right away I learned to start with the tighter side. Today, I comfortably slipped my left foot on top as this side is more open. 15 minutes later, it was time to switch sides. When I got to my right side, right foot on top of left thigh, right hand grasping in vain for the toes, I realized the next 16 mintues would not go by so smoothly.

I did feel some serious hightened awareness in my hips but the most prominent feeling was of calm, peace and stillness. The chant that goes along with it is deeply beautiful, sung by Snatam Kaur. I have many of her CDs so it is a familiar, soothing ~ as well as very beautiful ~ voice.

Six months will bring us to mid-September. I hope to find others who are also practicing bound lotus for a support group, maybe even people in Chicago that I can get together with for practice occasionally.

Check it out: www.boundlotus.com