On Thursday, I wrote a blog about this overwhelmingly powerful act of forgiveness the Amish people extended to the family of the man who killed their children. It touched me in a deep way. It changed me.
A few hours later I found myself caught in an emotional state unable to forgive. It was a teeny tiny discretion by a loved one but it hooked me. The Universe wanted to give me a first hand experience of the world of forgiveness and this little incident taught me much. I was ready and oriented to this perspective. It showed me clearly and immediately just what an enormous act of faith forgiveness is. It has compelled me to deeply explore this state. Here is what I have discovered thus far...
Forgiveness is not simply a state of mind, a choice one makes. It is a condition of the heart, an openness. It is a perspective that one cultivates. This perspective requires faith. It also requires the ability to be perfectly quiet and perfectly still. Emotions like rage, blame and vengeance are all very active, hectic, volatile. They are diametrically opposed to stillness. Becoming still dissipates the emotions that block the condition of the heart known as forgiveness.
So these are the results of my first study. I think it is to become a big project in my life. There is a lot there. There are so many little grudges and grievances to root out. They are easy to ignore because they are small but I can see now from all of this how they block my heart.There is no one in my life I hate, although I do admit to some pretty strong negative feelings around some public policies. There are however a hundred little incidences like the tiny infraction on Thursday, where I could apply forgiveness.
I have a great resource for this project. It is called The Forgiveness Project. I knew to go there because I was lucky enough to meet Marina, the creator The Forgiveness Project, at the Global Mind Change forum here a few weeks ago. She is gentle and very thoughtful. Her ability to listen fully makes her just the person to collect these important stories. Please check out her website and read the stories. They help to reveal the process and the place where forgiveness lives in all of us.
http://www.theforgivenessproject.com/
Here are a few comments that moved me:
“Forgiveness is a journey. Today you can forgive and tomorrow you can feel the pain all over again” -Anne Gallagher
Anne Gallagher is a former nurse from the Royal Victoria Hospital (RVH) in Belfast. She tended to victims of bombs and bullets on both sides of the sectarian divide, as well as many policemen and soldiers. Having a father and three brothers interned in the early days of The Troubles, she has experienced the pain of having close relatives imprisoned and killed. Her brother Dominic, a former IRA member, became leader of the Irish National Liberation Army (INLA) and was, at the time, the most wanted man in Ireland. After his release from prison he was shot dead by unknown gunmen.
“Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.” - Marian Partington
Working towards forgiveness seems to be the most imaginative way of becoming free and offering freedom. It is only something you can line yourself up for; you can’t make it happen. But I know it’s the only creative way forward, because it allows me to find a positive relationship with my own suffering which can be beneficial to others. In this way I can use my life to transform the cycle of violence. Sometimes I have experienced the sacredness of my own life and the inter-connectedness of all our lives. In this place forgiveness is spontaneous.
In 1973 Marian Partington’s younger sister, Lucy, disappeared from a bus stop after visiting a friend. Twenty years later, in 1994, the gruesome discoveries at 25 Cromwell Road revealed that Lucy Partington had been one of Frederick West’s victims.
"Initially I was unable to entertain any thought of forgiveness, but slowly I came to realize that bitterness only creates bitterness. Negative experiences are a kind of cancer, and my choice as a human being is either to encourage the spread of that cancer or to arrest it and apply a solution. I opt to be part of the solution, part of the healing. Forgiveness is not a matter of doing anything heroic or exceptional, it’s just about being natural." - Mwalimu Johnson
Mwalimu Johnson spent his early youth using and selling illegal drugs on the streets of New Orleans. In 1958 he received a 15-year sentence after pleading guilty to bank robbery. He was released in 1967, only to be shot in 1975 by FBI agents who claimed he was involved in another bank robbery – a claim they later withdrew. As a result of that shooting Mwalimu is now confined to a wheelchair. He was arrested and sentenced to seven years for assault and 50 years for an unrelated charge of armed robbery. In 1990 British attorney Clive Stafford-Smith won Mwalimu a reduction in sentence. Mwalimu was released in 1997, and is now the Executive Secretary at the Capital Post-Conviction Project of Louisiana.
